one two three four {fat + fired + girly}

Things I'm craving this week:

{To go to the ballet...}

{To read this...}

{To have a tea party...}

{... and a dress like this!}

So, now that I don't feel so grumpy about it, I'll share the cause for my recent grumpiness.

So about two weeks ago I told you all how I was going through a pretty intense interview process for a customer service related job that I really wanted. I ended up getting it (yay!) but after only two measly little shifts I was dismissed (boo!). For lack of confidence!

Now I know it would be hard for my personality to translate here in the blogosphere, but I was born for customer service. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm damn good at it, so I am very confident about my skills in customer service. The reason for my dismissal being a lack in confidence is totally bogus.

I started thinking about other ways I could have been lacking confidence. Was I overwhelmed or feeling anxious? I was actually feeling surprisingly calm and relaxed for beginning a new job, so not overtly. Was I asking too many questions? Isn't training period the time to ask questions? That would be ridiculous, right?

Was I not enough of a go-getter? Definitely not the case. I was told on one occasion by the manager, "training is a two week period, so just observe for now," and then on another completely separate occasion by a different superior, "Okay, so today you observe, tomorrow you do." Then, when I could tell how obviously busy it was, and the very nice lady training me was frazzled,  I went ahead and helped her by ringing things in, helping customers with what I could...

Then tomorrow turned into, 'could you come please come into my office.'

I asked if there was any way they could give me another day... so I could be more 'confident', reminding her that she had instructed me to observe, etc. She said she wasn't opposed to that idea and even mentioned that the lady who trained me stood up for me. She didn't have the authority to grant me another day so she said she would contact the owner and ask him. I could tell that she was feeling contrite and that she felt she owed me that much.

So the owner came in and basically said no, that it wasn't going to work, that I wasn't a good fit, meanwhile the manager had her hands on her face looking really ashamed. I didn't get it. Meanwhile, I was such a champ, remaining calm, even though I wanted to cry. I asked the owner if he could give me some feedback that I could reflect on for future job offers... and he said, "just work on your confidence."

Work on your confidence? That's it? I asked him to elaborate and he said, "well you seemed a little tentative." How could I have been tentative when I didn't do anything? I was told to stand back and did so and yet I even went beyond what my expectations were for the day.

Then, to add insult to injury, he escorted me out. Brought me to the staff room so I could get my stuff, he did, and with eyes like a hawk, watching my every move to ensure I wouldn't steal or break anything, and then ushered me out of the building. On my way out the manager looked at me with so much remorse on her face and even mouthed, 'I'm so sorry,' so I put my hand on her shoulder and whispered, "don't worry, I'll be fine."

So this is what I've concluded: The owner and I had had virtually no contact before I was hired. The more I think about it, the more I remember how relatively flawless my performance was for a trainee. Therefore, I was let go for superficial reasons. You see, I'm quite fat. I'm not fishing for compliments, for those of you that know me, it's just a fact. It sucks but it's the truth, and the owner is a superficial pig who couldn't tell me the real reason for which I was being dismissed without having a lawsuit in his hands. So, thank you sir, for letting me go so early in the game because working for you would have inevitably been a gross displeasure!

On to more uplifting things, here are some good weekend links:

Great compilation of new books. My summer reading list in there.

So. Much. Pretty.

How I'd love to do this drive.

A woman after my own heart... or stomach.

What a *sweet* idea!

Image credits: Maria Helena Buckley via National Geographic Daily,  Illustration by William Nicholson via Wikipedia Flickr user Squeaky Sharpie via Flickr, Scott Schuman via The Sartorialist