you can drink to this for me

a main resolution one... probably the mainest... no alcohol for twenty ten. thats right. the whole year.

i noticed i don't really have the greatest relationship with alcohol. gasp! ... is probably what you're thinking to yourself, but when i think about it, i don't think anyone does. alcohol, firstly, isn't healthy. and well there is a long pros-and-cons list but when it comes down to it, i just don't want to drink anymore. it makes me sad. it temporarily medicates the preexisting sadness but doesn't send it away. in fact, while i've drank to excess, i've started smoking again (countless times - really. countless) and indulge in all the destructive cravings and urges that follow (laziness and greasy food - namely, bacon, croissants and if geography permits, the occasional poutine...), and then i get sad. sad because i feel ashamed of something stupid or uncouth i said whilst imbibing. sad because i started smoking, again. sad that i keep making all these same hurtful, unwise decisions. alcohol essentially is at the root of these unhealthy patterns, for me. it keeps me physically and emotionally limited. well, alcohol and other things, but it won't hurt to forgo one vice if it helps me to forgo others. so bye-bye Leffe. bye-bye Pimm's. bye-bye deux mille neuf. hello 2010.

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